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The Poli-Stakes Cup (Warning Satire!)

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Good afternoon folks and it’s a wonderful day out here at Flemington today for the Poli-stakes cup.

The Horses look in fine form as they head towards the starting barrier. Abbott looks pretty rank and a bit full of himself ready to run. A hot tip today says he is in top form to take a place if not the top spot. No sir, we will not see this Stallion sitting in the back of the pack for long.

Hold up! There is a bit of commotion as Hanson is protesting that Aly and Dastyari should not be allowed in the race.  Last time she protested against Wong and Dodson, but she seems to have packed that game away.

It’s only her second time on the track but this untamed chestnut is proving to be a challenge to get under control before they even get into the gates. This filly may run into problems in this race as her fitness is down due to her poor diet. She has refused to eat hay, oats, carrots and drink water because they are all Halal.

Well what a day! Now we have Malcolm Roberts holding up. He is checking conspiracy blogs for the empirical evidence that the race is actually on before he commits to moving into the barrier.

And it looks like they are finally all moving into the barrier, with Leyonhjelm and Hinch madly tweeting abuse at each other as they approach the gates.

Yep all set now. They are in…..

And they’re off! And they shoot out with Turnbull taking the lead….but what’s this? We have a bit of a bungle at the starting gate folks – It looks like Bob Day has packed it in.

It seems that Dougie Cameron boxed him in and he has nowhere to go….and he is out. Bob Day has chucked in the towel and quit the race folks!

And back to the pack. Simon Birmingham looks shakily nervous as he contemplates if he will be forced back to the barrier and follow Bob Day.

And the pack is tightly bunched as they head down the straight, nothing much in it folks, just a slight margin between Turnbull at the front of the pack who is just a nose in front of Abott and the monkey pod who look sure to over take him.

As we come into the turn, that troublesome chestnut Hanson has come in down the inside of Turnbull. He is lugging in trying to stay on the inside, but he is taken up and Hanson pushes him to the far right and now he is in tight with nose to tail to Christensen.  It looks like Abbott might take that lead after all.

Shorten is gaining pace and racing ahead almost to the front of the pack. DiNatale, is alongside on the left and it looks like he is trying hard to jostle for position to take up the whole left field.

It appears from where I sit folks, DiNatale may be trying to throw the race!  He looks like his main aim is to hold Shorten back, rather than win the race.  Although this is far from his first race, DiNatale’s actions consistently in every race are what you would expect of a green horse. It looks like he still lacks serious form, folks.

What a race this has been!

As we approach the turn we see Watts and Butler making some headway. These shining stars are the ones to watch folks.

Brandis is running last of all. He’s got a lot of baggage weighing him down and he looks as if he is in serious trouble.

Just in front of Brandis, we have The Boats who don’t seem like they are going anywhere. It seems Dutton has pulled up and is holding pace third from last in an effort to stop The Boats and we are seeing some repulsive manoeuvres from him here today in his usual callous style.

The right side of the punters in the stands are going crazy! They can’t get enough of him.

And we are into the backstretch folks! The pack is still tight, Turnbull has fallen further behind at every pole and looks like he won’t come home ahead.

We have just had a rogue horse come onto the track and enter the race! This is all on today folks! Anything can happen in this race! He’s moving into the lead fast.  It’s Dr. Falzon. Dr. Falzon has joined the race!

This is getting crazier by the minute folks.  He has just ridden up behind Shorten and whipped him across the back of the head with a giant basics card.

Well he is off. It looks like that is all he was here to do today. Let’s see if that shook Shorten up.

As they come towards the turn, it is Abbott and Shorten neck and neck, with the pack two lengths behind and Brandis and his baggage still last of all.

As they come into the final turn, we see DiNatale trying to catch these two major players, but he looks like he has a buckleys chance in hell folks.

Its Shorten, Abbott, Shorten, Abbott.

No!!!! It could be all over folks! Media Agenda who has been lurking in the middle of the pack is now streaming down the outside.

Shorten and Abbott have been blind-sided.

It’s Media Agenda now controlling this race.

Media Agenda!!!

Media Agenda!!

And Media Agenda WINS!

Trish Corry

trishcorry

trishcorry

I love to discuss Australian Politics. My key areas of interest are Welfare, Disadvantage, emotions in the workplace, organisational behaviour, stigma, leadership, women, unionism. I am pro-worker and anti-conservativism/Liberalism. You will find my blog posts written from a Laborist / Progressive Slant.

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